Damn the Man!

Gonna have to put this bloggy thing on hold for a bit.  Got a little expanded role here at the jobby-job.  No worries though, Zac, I'll find some time somewhere to post something you can complain about!

Links O' The Week

If your girlfriend asks you to engage in a threesome with her and her female friend, the correct answer is "Certainly, dear.  I look forward to strengthening our relationship."  The incorrect answer is beating her up.

Keeping up with the weekly chick in bikini thing:  Say what you want about Kim Kardashian, it's hard to deny she's hot.

I've made this pork chop recipe twice now (this past Tuesday night was the last) and I have to pass it on.  It's un-freaking-believably good and pretty easy.

Showing further proof that she is nothing more than a gimmick, Sarah Palin is hosting a reality TV show.

Weingarten Realty Hates Houston

Pardon me while I rant locally....

Weingarten Realty, the pitiful company who loves to demolish any structure that might make Houston look different and unique, is at it again.  After closing down and demolishing a large part of River Oaks Shopping Center to build the monstrosity that is the new Barnes and Noble, Weingarten has begun steps to tear down the West Alabama Theater.  Sadly, we all saw this coming. 

After forcing the closure of the W. Alabama Bookstop, the theater remains empty, ripe for tearing down.  The latest word is the building will be gutted for a Staples.  YAY!  As always, Weingarten, way to preserve any uniqueness that Houston has left.  And shame on you, Staples, for even considering this move.  Another heartless big box company ruining a historic part of Houston.  I can't wait for Weingarten to tear down the River Oaks Theater so they can put in a Wal-Mart.

For more detailed information about this, check out articles here, here, and here.  Since Houston has some weak-ass preservation laws, there's not much we can do to fight this.  My own little protest?  I have yet to set foot in the new Barnes & Noble.  It would take a personal invitation from Hanna Hilton, Kevin Smith, and DeMeco Ryans to get me in there.  The same will happen if Staples decides to trash a Houston landmark.  Although, admittedly, my desire for office supplies are far less than that for books and Sandy has a better chance with Hanna Hilton than I do.

Either way, Weingarten sucks.  They should be ashamed of what they are doing to the landscape of Houston.

Jane Lynch Props

I'm not afraid to admit it, Sandy and I started watching Glee from the get go.  I thought it was original and so different than anything else on TV at the time.  These days, we fast forward through the singing (unless they involve the cheerleaders) because it's kinda lost its luster.

Then, there's Jane Lynch who playe Sue Sylvester.  Sandy and I used to joke that she was in everything released between 2005-2009.  I'm a Christopher Guest nerd (Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind), so I've been a fan of hers for a while.  Tell me she wasn't one of the best things about Role Models. 

Anyway, this is the funniest "Sue's Corner" she's done.  Evidently Fox doesn't care for embedded videos, so you gotta click.

Because I Can....

It's no secret I love chicks with tattoos.  Lots of 'em.  So I'm glad someone came up with the idea to "photoshop" some on these two:

Megan Fox:

Elisha Cuthbert:

Old School Jam, 3/25/10

I was feeling John Hughes-ish this week.  Remember this one from Pretty in Pink? For some reason, the song was in the film, but not on the soundtrack.  Great song.

"Positively Lost Me" - The Rave-Ups

Poll Question, 3/24/10

I added small new feature to the right over there.  Just a simple little poll question for fun.  This week's question: Who is the greatest superhero?  You only have the three choices listed 'cause I couldn't think of anyone else who would come close to the popularity of those three.  Lemme know what you think!

Full disclosure: This week's poll question was lifted from Pop Candy.

Oooo....Health Care....

Health care!! "Greatest thing ever!" "Downfall of America!!" "End of the world!!" Agreements, disagreements, fighting, name calling, "I bet I can find 1 million people who hate health care", blah blah blah......

I will be the first one to call out anyone for something I don't agree with. I'll yell and stomp my feet and take my ball and go home with the best of them. If you've ever uttered the phrase "I think Rick Perry is a good governor!", we've gone a round or two.

So, I've always been opinionated and if there's one thing I've learned about having this quality is to have an opinion on a topic, you HAVE to be knowledgeable about said topic. Health Care, you are foreign to me. I'll admit, I don't know enough to agree or disagree. So I stay out of it. I know a lot of people hate it right now. A lot of people hated the civil rights movement, too, that doesn't mean it's bad. Usually, the dissenters are louder than the supporters.

So before you go praising or blasting the Obama administration about health care, or praising or blasting anything for that matter, make sure you know what the hell you are talking about. Too many times have I began a discussion with someone, just to figure out they have no idea what they are talking about. "Because I'm Republican/Democrat/Libertarian/Whatever" is not a stance or a defense for your opinion. Just because Rush Limbaugh or Keith Olbermann has an opinion, don't blindly follow it. Think for yourself.  It's the greatest freedom this country grants us.

Yay Baseball!

Now that the NCAA tournament is over and done with and completely out of my head and I have no bitterness what-so-ever towards anything or any team (breathe), I am free to focus my attention to the Astros. 

The 'Stros open on April 5th against Tim Lincecum and the San Francisco Giants.  Like Super Bowl Monday, I firmly believe MLB Opening Day should be a national holiday.  We could replace some other holiday with Opening Day.  I mean honestly, do we really need Good Friday? 

The Astros, as a whole, seem to be a huge question mark this year.  Will they push for a playoff spot?  Who is going to be the fifth starter?  Will the offense be anything this year?  I'm far from being an expert, so I'm not gonna even attempt to answer these questions.  I just know that I'm ready for the season to start so I can get that damn tournament out of my head.  F*$%in' Northern Iowa.

Links O' The Week

For those of you with a smartphone, here's a link with tips to extend the life of your battery. I'm still holding on to my old school flip phone, which is basically like using carrier pigeons these days.

People are shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to learn that graduating from ITT Tech or Le Cordon Bleu does not result in finding a stable, decent paying job. What did those aspiring chefs expect? They should know by now that anything prepared "cordon bleu" is horrible.

I'm not sure who Kelly Landry actually is, but she looks damn good in a bikini.

It's really fucking scary that this is what a Happy Meal looks like after sitting out for a year. 

Update: Texas Education

As a follow up to my post the other day, the Texas Board of Education debacle has reached a national level.  You might have seen some stories on CNN and Fox News.

Here's a clip from Jon Stewart and "The Daily Show" hitting on the topic.  Again, way to go Texas Government!

(couldn't get the video to embed so you'll have to click.  damn Blogger)

Old School Jam, 3/18/10

I debated on this one for a bit 'cause this song is on a regular playlist of mine and I hear it all the time. Then I figured everyone knows (Houston's own) Geto Boys by "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" from Office Space, but maybe not the song that blew 'em up back in the day. I still love the guitar riff.

"Mind Playing Tricks on Me", 1991 (Keep it low if you're at work)

Let's Go Jayhawks!

The greatest tournament/"playoffs" in sports begins today.  March Madness is upon us.  My Jayhawks are the popular pick (and the President's) to win it all and that scares the hell outta me.  I never like it when the 'Hawks are ranked number one in basketball.  It makes that target on their back even bigger.

Just a couple of predictions:  Syracuse and Texas exit early, K-State is going to turn some heads, and Roy Williams will cry as he watches Bill Self win his second title at KU.  Yes, I'm still bitter.

GO 'HAWKS!!!!

Andrews' Stalker Sentenced

The other day, Erin Andrews' stalker was sentenced to 2-1/2 years in prison for the whole reverse peephole video. Michael David Barrett pleaded guilty and asked for Andrews' forgiveness, which she was giving none (rightfully so, it's her choice).

Is it a fair punishment? There's been some debate about that or if she handled the "apology" well. I don't really have an opinion either way. As a guy, I'm so far removed from her situation that I can't begin to grasp what she's gone through.

Given, it is not my body out there on the internet for everyone to see. Frankly, if you haven't seen me naked, you just haven't been friends with me long enough. But don't worry, you're not missing anything.

I admittedly felt conflicted after I watched the video way back when it was released. I mean, c'mon, it's Erin Freakin' Andrews and I'm a red-blooded male sports fan! But here was a woman, who was being filmed without her knowledge or consent. She never agreed to any video or picture or anything to be released. Hell, I don't think she ever did a spread for Maxim or anything remotely putting herself out there as a "sex symbol".

The only thing that irks me a bit is this whole Dancing with the Stars thing she's involved in now. A year ago, all she wanted was her privacy. She just wanted to do her job. She was "being treated like fucking Britney Spears" and didn't deserve it. I guess now she doesn't mind the popularity so much.

Either way, she's a good sideline reporter and I hope she sticks with it. I have this looming feeling we'll see her on Today or some other horrible early morning "news" show.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today is the day we all pretend we're Irish and we don't feel bad for drinking at 11:00 in the morning. Welcome to what I call "Everyday". To get it kicked off, here's a little Flogging Molly for ya'.....

Texas Board of "Education"

I love Texas. I love being a Texan. But sometimes (well okay, often) our governing bodies are just flat out wrong. Believe me, it's not always easy being a liberal in Texas. This is and will always be a conservative "red" state and while I don't like it, I accepted this fact a while back.

So the talk down here recently has been the "updating" of history textbooks in schools. Seems like the Texas Board of Education thought they didn't lean to the right enough for their liking. They make small changes in terminology, omits some contributions of Hispanics, and emphasizes the (hilariously-termed) "conservative resurgence of the 1980's and 1990's". Another of my favorite changes:

Language that qualifies the legacy of 1960s liberalism. Great Society programs such as Title IX—which provides for equal gender access to educational resources—and affirmative action, intended to remedy historic workplace discrimination against African-Americans, are said to have created adverse
“unintended consequences” in the curriculum’s preferred language

This also hits other states. Because Texas is so big, textbook manufacturers will often force out texts to other regions. Welcome to the South, New Hampshire!

Last but not least, the current draft is set to include country and western music as part of the nation's important "cultural movements". Rap music, however, was struck from that list. Can you be more blatantly racist, Texas? Yes folks, we all admire the plight of the redneck as told through song, right? Country music should be celebrated, for it has long been the breeding ground for tolerance, understanding, and level minded thinking.

Well done Texas Board of Education. Thanks for moving Texas into the current era and proving we are indeed a forward-thinking state. Now, if you'll excuse me, I evidently need to get back to proving that darn "evolution" thing wrong.

Links O' the Week

Hells yes. Sandberg and Parnell did a live version of "Lazy Sunday" on Jimmy Fallon. Bonus: The Roots playing back-up.

If you missed it, here's the latest Iron Man 2 trailer.

I always had a little thing for Julie Bowen since I first noticed her on Ed. Not anymore.

My favorite thing in the world? Sandy's ass (no, there is no link so stop clicking on it). My second favorite thing? Penguins. A "one in a zillion" all-black king penguin was discovered on the island of South Georgia.

Christopher Nolan says the next Batman film will be his last. Then on to.......Superman?

I hate soccer, but I like this story about the USA U-17's match against Haiti.

Steak & BJ Day

Ladies, please don't forget about Steak & BJ Day this Sunday (and every March 14th). This is the only holiday we men really care about. Valentine's day, Christmas, New Year's.....we try to put on a good show but we honestly don't care. Our birthday? Unless it's our 21st, it's just another day.

To be completely honest, we can even do without the steak.

Old School Jam for That Ear-Hole

I'm thinking this will be a regular thing around these parts. I'll try to find some obscure jam you haven't thought of in years. Some jams, like maybe this one, you may have never heard before. If you've got a good one, lemme know!

They Might Be Giants - Ana Ng

This is older than "Birdhouse"!

Lindsay Who Now?

Okay, normally I don't give a flying fuck about tabloid type stuff, but this Lindsay Lohan thing is over the top. She's suing E*Trade because a baby in their commercial named "Lindsay" is referred to as a "milkaholic". A lawsuit? Really? I'm sorry Ms. Lohan, but are your royalties from that Herbie movie running low? Did your coke dealer call in your tab? Spend all your money hiring consultants to tell you how to be a fake lesbian?

Listen, I'll give you Mean Girls. That was a good movie. Even though that had more to do with Tina Fey than you, I'll still give you a pass on that one. But now you say "Lindsay" is like "Cher" or "Madonna"; that you are recognizable only by one name. Are you for fucking real? Are you just trying to stay in the headlines because your last five movies have gone straight to bargain bin DVD?

I'll let you in on a little clue: nobody knows you as "Lindsay". If I say "Lindsay" to a friend, they give me a puzzled look. If I'm playing the $25,000 Pyramid and I give the clue "coked up, anorexic, Hollywood has-been, who flamed out at 19 years old", the immediate answer would be "LINDSAY LOHAN!" BING! and then I get to talk to Dick Clark as the studio lights fade.

Pierson & Company Bar-B-Que

On a Sunday not too long ago, Sandy and I found what could be our new favorite BBQ joint. This can be a hard thing to do, living in a city/state where BBQ is serious business. Ask 5 different people what the best place in Houston is, and you'll get 5 different answers.

On a tip from an old Houston Press, we checked out Pierson & Company Bar-B-Que and holy hell are we glad we did. We could tell it was a good idea when we rolled up on the unassuming building, standing alone on some land on TC Jester & Tidwell. It just looked like a place that served damn good BBQ. If you've had a lot of good BBQ, you know what I mean.



As we walked in, that slobber inducing smell hit us like a Ike Turner backhand. Sandy even exclaimed aloud, not to me mind you, just to anyone within earshot "Dear God it smells good in here!" We were greeted by two women, one who asked if we had ever been there. "No", we replied and without hesitation she said: "Well let me get you some samples." Before we even realized what she said, she was ducking back into the kitchen, only to bring back two small ribs, two small pieces of brisket, and two small pieces of sausage. We couldn't believe it. Never before had I been offered samples in a BBQ joint. This service alone would have brought us back for a repeat visit.


Sandy ordered the chopped beef sandwich and I got some ribs and brisket. The stuff was absolutely amazing. Ribs were fall off the bone. I know that term gets thrown around a lot, but I'm being literal here. They were killer. The brisket was the perfect balance of meat to fatty substance. The sauce was just like I like it. It had a kick, but it didn't overpower the meat. I always say a good sauce can turn bad BBQ good or vice versa. I would say this meat didn't even need the sauce, but I'd drink the stuff straight out of a glass.

Rarely do you find such good food with such friendly folks behind the counter, but Pierson & Company got it right. My only warnings: 1) There are only three tables in the place, so go at a slightly off hour. 2) Plan on going straight home afterwards 'cause, due to the small size of the place, you're gonna smell like you were standing right over the pit.

The Debate That is Audrina Partridge

This debate has been going on in my house for a while. Is Audrina Partridge hot? I say wholeheartedly "HELLS YEAH". Sandy, however, says no. We asked our dog, Riley, but he just looked up us, obviously annoyed, and went back to chewing his bone. This debate is almost as old as our Dixie Chicks debate.

Here's a pic of her from FHM. Your thoughts? More pics here.

Chief Sign Thomas Jones

Yesterday, my Kansas City Chief signed 32-year-old running back Thomas Jones. Good for my Chief, bad for my Texans.

The Texans stood hard and fast by their "no-running-back-over-30" stance and I thing it's hurt 'em this time. They also passed up on Chester Taylor, who went to the Bears.

The Chief got a virtual steal at 2 years, $5M for Jones, who is coming off back to back spectacular seasons. While it's true, Jones' shelf life in the league is quickly expiring, signing Jones would have made an immediate impact in the Texans' backfield. Instead, we're relying on Steve Slaton (I told you not to get too hyped on him!), Arian Foster, and Ryan Moats (who is a restricted free agent and could possibly leave). Thank God Chris Brown will be gone.

Detractors will bring up the disaster that was Ahman Green, but don't start with me on that. Green basically came into camp on crutches and didn't last two games.

Maybe I shouldn't worry too much. I'm sure Kubiak will figure something out. Is Quentin Griffen available? Olandis Gary?

Why aren't my paragraphs separating in this post? I have no idea.

Conversation I Actually Just Had.....

Carlton: "Ross, I just got a new panini press! It's pretty bad-ass. It's got a grill surface and then a heavy weight that you put on top of it."

Ross: "You don't strike me as the kind of guy that makes paninis."

Carlton: "Well, that's what I wanted to ask you.....what's a panini?"

Ross: laughs

New Texans Campaign

I just saw a Facebook update revealing the Texans' new marketing campaign "Unleash The Spirit".

Message to Rick Smith and Bob McNair: "Unleash The Checkbook". Wrap up Owen Daniels and DeMeco Ryans to long term deals. Do it. Now. You're always talking about keeping the fans on board, well this would do it.

While you're at it, go ahead and extend Andre's contract another 10 years.

The White Stripes Live

Easily one of my favorite bands, The White Stripes are releasing a live album next Tuesday called Under Great White Northern Lights. Until then, you can stream it here.

Even though Jack is busy doing other things, "Icky Thump" is still my ring tone and I'm still droolin' over Meg White.

The Runaways

I'm REALLY hoping this movie is gonna be good, despite "Ms. Twilight" playing Joan Jett.

And when did Dakota Fanning grow up? That makes me feel old.

Link Round Up

Here's the part of the show where I give you some links I thought were pretty cool. This will be a recurring theme as I gather enough of 'em that I like. Maybe you've seen 'em, maybe not. Hell, maybe you sent it to me in which case I owe you a "thanks". Just remember not to stroll too far away from my big, strong, comforting arms. Happy clickin', bitches.

If you dig big eyed cartoon chicks with tattoos (like I do), you'll like this artist. (Thanks to M. Proctor for this one)

If you know me at all, you know why I love Coco (that's Mrs. Ice-T to you).

This is a must-watch video from Funny or Die, especially if you're a fan of SNL.

Much props to Sherron Collins, who played his final game at Allen the other night (win vs #6 K-State). Thanks for everything, Sherron.

Hole's new song. Do not like.

A stripper talks about good dancin' songs. Who knew Weezer was such the strip club mainstay?

TROLOLOLOLO

Disturbing, yet mesmerizing.....



Thanks to C. Knapp for bringing this to my attention. I think.

Twit

Can anyone really explain to me the popularity and the reason for Twitter? I'm sorry, but I have yet to grasp the concept. 140 characters to tell me what you're having for lunch? Unless I'm going with you, I don't care. Why do I need to know you're on your way to wash your car or your cat isn't feeling well? I didn't care to know this stuff instantly two years ago, before the Twitter explosion, and I don't care now.

I might give a little break to celebrities. After we got to look into their lives with the advent of reality TV, we were hooked. Am I interested if Kim Kardashian is on her way to a photo shoot for GQ? Not really, but I can see where people would wanna feel like they're a part of that. Now if Coco is sending out pics of her squat portion of her workout (in high heels none-the-less), I'm down. Keep fightin' the good fight, Coco.

Your friends may not tell you this to be nice, but I'll say it right here: Facebook is NOT Twitter! If you post a status update more than three times a day regularly, you have a problem and guess what, your friends hate you and have probably hidden you by now.

Greatest moment in Twitter history:

You Decided his Name was "Carol"? Really?

Yesterday, Where The Wild Things Are was released on DVD. When this movie came out, I, like many others my age, went to see it with my Mom. I remember so vividly reading this book with my mom when I was young. For some reason, it didn't scare the hell outta me. I loved the story of Max in his wolf outfit, taking charge of the monsters and pretty much having a big party, then sailing home to his dinner, which was still warm. Such good memories.

I knew going into this movie, that Spike Jonze was going to put his own spin on it. That's fine, the book was 15 pages or something like that so I expected a little padding to make it a full 90-minute movie. What I didn't expect was the take Jonze did on the characters. I always thought of Max as a normal, trouble making kid with one hell of an imagination. What I was given on screen was a friggin' psycho. That kid was Norman Bates-esque. The first scene just about made me think he killed his dog. I think that was my biggest problem with this movie: Jonze didn't make me care about the two main characters, Max and Carol (I never pictured that monster named "Carol"). Hell, besides not caring, I barely even liked either of 'em.

If you haven't seen the movie, I actually recommend it. The visuals are great and Karen O does an amazing job on the soundtrack. Just try to block out any good memories from your childhood.

Video of "All is Love" by Karen O:

It Begins

So this is what happens when you wake up at 3:00AM and can't get back to sleep. You start to think about things. Random things. Things you wanna do that you haven't done yet. Things like taking a photography class, get back in touch with that friend from college, learning to properly braise pork belly, have a threesome (or foursome/fivesome/orgy), or start a blog. It is now 4:56 in the AM, so starting a blog was really my only option.

Yeah, yeah, blogs are soooo "2004". I know. It might surprise some of my friends that I've had a blog, in one form or another, for many years. It started off with a private one. A blog that I kept a secret from everyone but my wife. It was anonymous and fun for a while, but it never developed as I wanted. After that, I wrote for some friends, wrote for myself, and wrote about three posts for Houstonist.

So here I am today. I've thought about this for quite a bit and I think I have enough ideas to get it going the way I want. It should be fun. I'm thinking sports, food, sex, pop culture, music, movies, whatever is on my mind. I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors. I'm not here to win a Pulitzer, I'm here to create an outlet for me and hopefully make my friends laugh. So let's get started.....

"I've got a bad feeling about this" - Han Solo