R.I.P. Ernie's on Banks

I was pretty shocked to learn that Montrose staple Ernie's on Banks abruptly closed their doors for good the other night.  Ernie’s was a place I really dug. It was a strange place where I never felt really welcome, but I never felt unwelcome, either. Unfortunately, it’s one of the last cool/uncool places in Montrose and I’m sad to see it go. I know the last two sentences are pretty much oxymorons in themselves, but that seems fitting for Ernie’s. Upstairs was always louder while the downstairs almost seemed like a serene speakeasy. I frequently remember the more boisterous couples or friends coming to the downstairs bathrooms, always a bit noisier than the rest of the room. A few disgruntled looks over the shoulders from the regulars downstairs quickly quieted that noise, but in a most respectful way. It was understood.

My favorite place at the bar was right on the curve. I could easily face Sandy and talk to her, people watch the rest of the bar, keep an eye on the TV, while eavesdropping on the couple behind me at the touch screen trivia. This was also in close proximity to the chilled Jager and Patron machines which usually, if ordered from, meant the bartender was doing a shot with you.

Being a rum and coke guy, and having the ability to drink many in one sitting, Ernie’s ran a little expensive for me at times. This was really the only thing that kept me from being a regular. The place was clean, but not too clean. The bartenders were normally tatted up and friendly. They hung the sports page above the urinal, a too-often underappreciated décor. Since it was a KU alumni gathering spot for watching games, they had a Jayhawk sticker on the fridge.

The future of Ernie’s kind of scares me a bit, and you can read about it here. Hopefully, the new owners will remember what it meant to the people of Montrose as well as our neighborhood itself. With statements like “"We're not getting rid of Ernie's; we're gonna make it our place," and "It's still going to be a little two-story neighborhood bar...and then some." I’m a little worried.

The Jersey Rules

With football season quickly approaching and baseball almost halfway through the season, I feel I need to go over a few “Jersey” Rules. Yup, there are rules and guidelines that need to be followed if you plan on wearing a sports jersey. Let’s begin...

Know the sporting event you are attending: There’s nothing more embarrassing than getting to the game and realizing: “Crap! This is Minute Maid Park! I accidentally put on my Brett Favre jersey!” Can you imagine? Very embarrassing, but yet I see this happening all the time. In the excitement of the day, men will randomly grasp at any jersey in their closets. Just take a deep breath and choose wisely. No need to look like a jackass.

Just because you are attending a sporting event, doesn’t mean you need to wear a jersey: This is a big one. The desire to wear a jersey sometimes outweighs common sense. While attending a Texans vs. Colts game, there is no need to wear your Steelers jersey. Astros vs. Cardinals? Leave the Cubs gear at home. You look like a jackass. “But Ross, I’m supporting UT and Houston by wearing a Vince Young jersey!” No, you look like the biggest jackass.

No custom jerseys:  We all know there is no number 69 named “T-Bone” on the team. You look like a jackass. Also, the only reason your last name should be on a jersey is if you made the team and they gave it to you. This also goes for alternate colors. If the team has never worn lime green, your jersey should not be lime green. This “no custom” rule can only be broken in very rare occasions i.e. getting a Falcons “Mexico” jersey (if you don’t know, Google “Ron Mexico”).

Avoid duplication: This can be tricky and sometimes unavoidable. If you are going to a game with one or two buddies, there better be three different jersey represented. To the two guys wearing identical Andre Johnson jerseys in front of me: y’all look like jackasses. This also applies to wives/husbands/significant others. Now, if you have a large tailgate group like we do, duplication is bound to happen. If you must get the same player as another in your group, at least make it a different color and walk to/from the game a minimum of 10 paces apart.

If you are wearing a jersey it better be game day: There is no reason to wear a jersey if it is not game day. If you wanna show your support, they make t-shirts, polos, and hats with your team’s logo. Texans jersey on Wednesday? Jackass.

Now these are just the hard and fast rules I can think of off the top of my head. I typed this up in about 20 minutes, so I probably missed a few, but these rules should be known.

Old School Jam, 6/17/10

I dunno where this ranks in my all-time-kick-ass-song-list, but it's towards the top.  I think it's my favorite Police song.  There are so many.

Here's "Synchronicity II" from 1983's Synchronicity:

The Dark Side is Screwed

JEDI SQUIRRELS!!!

(somewhere Sandy is slowly lowering her head and shaking it in shame)

The University of Texas Needs it's Diaper Changed

Ok, now I’m just fucking sick and tired of it.  Sick and tired of all these UT fans bragging how they “saved” the Big XII and how the rest of us need to be thanking them and worshipping the burnt orange ground that we all live on.  Get the fuck over yourselves.  Lemme let you in on a little secret: You only matter during football season.  Nobody cares the rest of the year, even your own "fans".  Most of y’all are sidewalk alums anyway, so you need to shut up the most.

You know what you are, UT?  You’re the big fucking spoiled fat kid who crosses his arms and pouts any time he doesn’t get his way.  You’re the kid who cries in a restaurant ‘cause they won’t put extra chocolate sprinkles on your chicken fried steak.  You’re the rich kid who threatens to take his ball and bat and go home if he doesn’t get to pitch even though you suck.

We all know that UT is one of the most powerful schools in the country with one of the best athletic programs.  Does that give you the right to threaten to change the face of college athletics?  No.  One team should not be bigger than the conference or have the power to dissolve it.

Congrats UT.  You are Wal-Mart.  You are now officially “big business”.  You are greed.  You are the New York Yankees.  Next time you decide to stick out your lip, stomp your feet and pout like a little whiny bitch, just leave.  Instead of playing bully and holding the conference hostage, just leave.  The Big XII might dissolve, but the rest of us will get along just fine without you. 

Rock Chalk and long live the Big XII, with or without UT.

Links O' The Week, 6/11/10

Re-launching Voltron?  Don't you dare screw this up.

Sandy is a salmon freak so I made this for her the other night.  Said it might be the best salmon she's ever had.  Kick up the Sriracha a bit more than the recipe calls for, though.

Does anyone in their right mind think these two ass clowns are actually getting a divorce?  I've never wished death upon anyone, but these two are getting close.

This mosque at Ground Zero thing is getting even funnier.  Some protesters threatened Muslim-looking Egyptians....who were actually fellow Christians there to protest the mosque.  "Home of the Free", folks!

Funniest Things I Heard This Week

From a co-worker, who's gay: "I hate going to the Gay Pride Parade.  Too many damn gay people."

From Zac on Wednesday night: "The NBA sucks.  It's just a bunch of squeaky shoes."

Old School Jam, 6/10/10

Can we all just agree, like him or not, David Bowie is a freaking genius.  I heard this song on my Pandora radio the other day and wanted to hear it over and over again.  This song is older than I am!

Here's Bowie, performing Golden Years on Soul Train:


If this song sounds familiar and you're not quite sure why, it was also used in a hilariously cheesy scene in A Knight's Tale (which is one of those movies you see on TBS and can't turn off...I've seen it at least 15 times):

Holy Ham & Cheese!

Maybe there IS someting in the bible I agree with!!

An Adventurous Feast

Since I'm just getting this thing back up and running, there's no "Links O' the Week" this week.  You're bummed, I know.  Here, cry on my shoulder.  There you go, get it all out.  Shhh....it'll be okay.

Weird.

Anyway, Sandy, Zac, and Kourtney, and I went to Feast last night and shared this as one of our appetizers:

Damn right kids, that's a little pig's brain.  Served on a piece of delicious bread, accompanied by their "Green Sauce", which is basically a pesto.  I'm not gonna try and play cool and say it was the best thing I ever ate.  It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great, either.  I think we were all expecting something a little chewy.  It surprisingly had the consistency of pate or braunschweiger.  Between the four of us, we finished the thing off, but I don't think any of us were running out to try to fix it at home.

We've always wanted to try Feast, and spurred on by an erroneous (or misleading) post by the Houston Press food blog, we reserved our table a week ago.  It was good.  It was damn good.  It was adventurous and not like anything else I've seen in Houston.  The prices were $25 or so per entree, which is just about right for the restaurant.  The service was impeccable.  In fact, I think our server was one of the owners, Megan Silk, who quickly assured us:  Feast is not closing, they are only opening a new location in New Orleans, and she wasn't too happy about that rumor spreading like wildfire.  I'm guessing, like in our case, it got some more people in the restaurant.

Just FYI on what we had:  Sandy - Lamb Shank; Kourtney - Fish and Scallop Pie (think Shepherd's Pie with seafood); Zac - Pork Chop; Myself - Bath Chaps (Pig's cheek and jowl meat).  The best thing on the table was proabably a tie between Sandy's lamb and Kourtney's...erm...pie.

Thank You, Junior

Big props today to Ken Griffey, Jr, who retired from baseball last night at the age of 40.  22 seasons, 13 All Star Games, 630 home runs, and arguably the sweetest swing baseball has ever seen.  If you are anywhere close to my age and tell me Griffey was never your favorite player, you're lying.

Considered the greatest player in the game at one point, the man almost single handedly created a baseball atmosphere in Seattle.  Enjoying Safeco Field people of Seattle?  Thank Junior. 

Everyone will remember him for his swing, his smile, and introducing the MLB to wearing your hat backwards.  But do you remember this little rap he did with Kid Sensation?  I had this tape....and it was awesome.

Old School Jam, 6/3/10

If you're close to my age and you were into the "alternative/grunge" thing, you went through a Sonic Youth phase.  I think Sonic Youth was musically before their time and ironically suffered for it.  Agree?

Here's "Teenage Riot" from their 1988 album Daydream Nation

Yay Patriotism!!!

I'm furious!  I just heard of proposed plans to build a Mosque near Ground Zero!  America should be furious!! 

Building a Mosque near Ground Zero would be like building a church...well...anywhere....

Hmm....

Galarraga Blown in Detroit (Not in the Good Way)

I’d be remiss if I didn’t write something, ANYTHING, about Jim Joyce (never a good sign if you know the name of an ump) blowing the call that cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game. After watching the replay, how the hell was that call blown? It was barely what you would call a “bang-bang” sort of play. Now the calls for instant replay are becoming louder and will probably be listened to.


They shouldn’t.


I feel bad for Galarraga, who I believe will eventually be credited for throwing only the 21st perfect game in MLB history, but this is going to lead more knee jerk reactions calling for ordinances that are not needed (see: oil industry). Yes, the technology is there, but baseball does not need any instant replay. They have a system in place now for close home run calls and that’s enough. The main complaint about baseball is the length of the games. Instituting some more instant replay will only make the games longer. It would also take away that human element that is so prevalent, and endearing, in baseball.

A Look at the New Captain America

Looks like some new art was released showing what Captain America is going to look like in the upcoming movie:

At risk of being too "Comic Guy"-esque, I'm not diggin' it.  What's up with the helmet?  Is that a helmet?  Looks like one.  Cap always rode a motorcycle, but never had a permanent helmet.  Why the military issued knock off Batman utility belt?  Are those suspenders?  Where are the cool little wings on the temples?  Might as well make the shield square.  Best to take a wait and see approach with this one. 

For a closer look at the new stuff, click here.  A traditional, yet modern depiction:

Megan Fox Going Downhill?

So I guess it's official...Megan Fox has been replaced in The Transformers franchise by this chick:

My sources say she's Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, a Victoria's Secret model.  By "sources" I mean a half-assed Google search.

So does this mean Megan Fox has jumped the shark, so to speak?  Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, but it seems she's been on a slide for a while.  I had high hopes for her in Diablo Cody's "Jennifer's Body", but after bad reviews, I haven't even given it a look.  She'll be in DC's upcoming "Jonah Hex", but even with a strong cast (Josh Brolin, John Malkovich), I'm already having my doubts about that one. 

Just some random thoughts.  So what do you think?  Is Megan Fox's career in trouble?

Gulf Coast PSA

I'm not an ecologist or anything like that, but I just wanted to give a quick PSA to support the Gulf Coast seafood industry.  They're gonna need it for a while.  Sandy and I devoured these beauties yesterday along with some awesome gumbo, boudin, and shrimp po-boys from Danton's.....

Wakey Wakey, Hands Off Snakey...

The self imposed hiatus is officially over. I was spending a few days a week over at the parent company’s 10-story ant farm, helping out on a project over there. Just as I was getting used to the vast amounts of solitude (nobody likes to talk to each other over there), they say “thanks for playing” and send me back to normalcy.

Big Brother has a huge presence over there, so internet usage was pretty much impossible. I quickly learned to entertain myself through more “archaic” means….playing games on the new phone and discovering new places to eat. By the way, the Greenspoint area has some great Mexican and Vietnamese places. You just can’t be scared to walk into places that don’t look so great and not mind that nobody speaks English. One of the Mexican places I went to didn’t even have English on the menu, which honestly, is a good sign.

So, hopefully I can get this thing kicked off again for my three-or-so visitors (Hi Meg!)

And by the way, y’all got the “best superhero” question wrong. The correct answer is Batman. I’m disappointed in you. This is not up for debate.

Damn the Man!

Gonna have to put this bloggy thing on hold for a bit.  Got a little expanded role here at the jobby-job.  No worries though, Zac, I'll find some time somewhere to post something you can complain about!

Links O' The Week

If your girlfriend asks you to engage in a threesome with her and her female friend, the correct answer is "Certainly, dear.  I look forward to strengthening our relationship."  The incorrect answer is beating her up.

Keeping up with the weekly chick in bikini thing:  Say what you want about Kim Kardashian, it's hard to deny she's hot.

I've made this pork chop recipe twice now (this past Tuesday night was the last) and I have to pass it on.  It's un-freaking-believably good and pretty easy.

Showing further proof that she is nothing more than a gimmick, Sarah Palin is hosting a reality TV show.

Weingarten Realty Hates Houston

Pardon me while I rant locally....

Weingarten Realty, the pitiful company who loves to demolish any structure that might make Houston look different and unique, is at it again.  After closing down and demolishing a large part of River Oaks Shopping Center to build the monstrosity that is the new Barnes and Noble, Weingarten has begun steps to tear down the West Alabama Theater.  Sadly, we all saw this coming. 

After forcing the closure of the W. Alabama Bookstop, the theater remains empty, ripe for tearing down.  The latest word is the building will be gutted for a Staples.  YAY!  As always, Weingarten, way to preserve any uniqueness that Houston has left.  And shame on you, Staples, for even considering this move.  Another heartless big box company ruining a historic part of Houston.  I can't wait for Weingarten to tear down the River Oaks Theater so they can put in a Wal-Mart.

For more detailed information about this, check out articles here, here, and here.  Since Houston has some weak-ass preservation laws, there's not much we can do to fight this.  My own little protest?  I have yet to set foot in the new Barnes & Noble.  It would take a personal invitation from Hanna Hilton, Kevin Smith, and DeMeco Ryans to get me in there.  The same will happen if Staples decides to trash a Houston landmark.  Although, admittedly, my desire for office supplies are far less than that for books and Sandy has a better chance with Hanna Hilton than I do.

Either way, Weingarten sucks.  They should be ashamed of what they are doing to the landscape of Houston.

Jane Lynch Props

I'm not afraid to admit it, Sandy and I started watching Glee from the get go.  I thought it was original and so different than anything else on TV at the time.  These days, we fast forward through the singing (unless they involve the cheerleaders) because it's kinda lost its luster.

Then, there's Jane Lynch who playe Sue Sylvester.  Sandy and I used to joke that she was in everything released between 2005-2009.  I'm a Christopher Guest nerd (Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind), so I've been a fan of hers for a while.  Tell me she wasn't one of the best things about Role Models. 

Anyway, this is the funniest "Sue's Corner" she's done.  Evidently Fox doesn't care for embedded videos, so you gotta click.

Because I Can....

It's no secret I love chicks with tattoos.  Lots of 'em.  So I'm glad someone came up with the idea to "photoshop" some on these two:

Megan Fox:

Elisha Cuthbert:

Old School Jam, 3/25/10

I was feeling John Hughes-ish this week.  Remember this one from Pretty in Pink? For some reason, the song was in the film, but not on the soundtrack.  Great song.

"Positively Lost Me" - The Rave-Ups

Poll Question, 3/24/10

I added small new feature to the right over there.  Just a simple little poll question for fun.  This week's question: Who is the greatest superhero?  You only have the three choices listed 'cause I couldn't think of anyone else who would come close to the popularity of those three.  Lemme know what you think!

Full disclosure: This week's poll question was lifted from Pop Candy.