The Jersey Rules

With football season quickly approaching and baseball almost halfway through the season, I feel I need to go over a few “Jersey” Rules. Yup, there are rules and guidelines that need to be followed if you plan on wearing a sports jersey. Let’s begin...

Know the sporting event you are attending: There’s nothing more embarrassing than getting to the game and realizing: “Crap! This is Minute Maid Park! I accidentally put on my Brett Favre jersey!” Can you imagine? Very embarrassing, but yet I see this happening all the time. In the excitement of the day, men will randomly grasp at any jersey in their closets. Just take a deep breath and choose wisely. No need to look like a jackass.

Just because you are attending a sporting event, doesn’t mean you need to wear a jersey: This is a big one. The desire to wear a jersey sometimes outweighs common sense. While attending a Texans vs. Colts game, there is no need to wear your Steelers jersey. Astros vs. Cardinals? Leave the Cubs gear at home. You look like a jackass. “But Ross, I’m supporting UT and Houston by wearing a Vince Young jersey!” No, you look like the biggest jackass.

No custom jerseys:  We all know there is no number 69 named “T-Bone” on the team. You look like a jackass. Also, the only reason your last name should be on a jersey is if you made the team and they gave it to you. This also goes for alternate colors. If the team has never worn lime green, your jersey should not be lime green. This “no custom” rule can only be broken in very rare occasions i.e. getting a Falcons “Mexico” jersey (if you don’t know, Google “Ron Mexico”).

Avoid duplication: This can be tricky and sometimes unavoidable. If you are going to a game with one or two buddies, there better be three different jersey represented. To the two guys wearing identical Andre Johnson jerseys in front of me: y’all look like jackasses. This also applies to wives/husbands/significant others. Now, if you have a large tailgate group like we do, duplication is bound to happen. If you must get the same player as another in your group, at least make it a different color and walk to/from the game a minimum of 10 paces apart.

If you are wearing a jersey it better be game day: There is no reason to wear a jersey if it is not game day. If you wanna show your support, they make t-shirts, polos, and hats with your team’s logo. Texans jersey on Wednesday? Jackass.

Now these are just the hard and fast rules I can think of off the top of my head. I typed this up in about 20 minutes, so I probably missed a few, but these rules should be known.