Lindsay Who Now?

Okay, normally I don't give a flying fuck about tabloid type stuff, but this Lindsay Lohan thing is over the top. She's suing E*Trade because a baby in their commercial named "Lindsay" is referred to as a "milkaholic". A lawsuit? Really? I'm sorry Ms. Lohan, but are your royalties from that Herbie movie running low? Did your coke dealer call in your tab? Spend all your money hiring consultants to tell you how to be a fake lesbian?

Listen, I'll give you Mean Girls. That was a good movie. Even though that had more to do with Tina Fey than you, I'll still give you a pass on that one. But now you say "Lindsay" is like "Cher" or "Madonna"; that you are recognizable only by one name. Are you for fucking real? Are you just trying to stay in the headlines because your last five movies have gone straight to bargain bin DVD?

I'll let you in on a little clue: nobody knows you as "Lindsay". If I say "Lindsay" to a friend, they give me a puzzled look. If I'm playing the $25,000 Pyramid and I give the clue "coked up, anorexic, Hollywood has-been, who flamed out at 19 years old", the immediate answer would be "LINDSAY LOHAN!" BING! and then I get to talk to Dick Clark as the studio lights fade.